Simba...

Before I had my son there was Simba. Simba was my world & he was my first child before I actually had a child. He was a 4 pound little yorkie. He, is what I tell people was my first son. He slept by me, watched tv with me, & we played catch all the time. I constantly worried about Simba when I went away. And then Frankie came along. Simba's world went crashing down and we kind of drifted apart. He didn't want anything to do with me and kept his distance. I don't think people will actually "get" what it's Like to treat your dog like your first child, and then when your have your actual child your dog, becomes just your dog. (Did I lose you?) Maybe it's not the same for everyone, but that's how it was for me. I suddenly became guilty that I didn't devote as much time to Simba, and how this new baby just invaded his "turf" sort of speak. I found myself getting ticked off at stuff he did before that didn't seem to bother but did now: like his excessive barking that would wake Frankie up. I just felt bad I missed how close we were...

Fast forward: this weekend my son spent it at his grandparent's house and me & Simba spent the weekend like old times. I played with him a lot more than I usually do, allowed him to sleep in my bed, and we cuddled. I missed that. I want more of that. When we came home our son was ecstatic to see Simba he kept yelling "baba" (that's his way of saying Simba) and Simba was happy to see him too. They truly have a understanding of one another now. They know each other's boundaries and it melts my heart to see how much they love each other now.

Mr. Clingy

My son never used to be the clingy type.  Most people would be amazed at how social he was, and how he went with anyone with a smile. Now? He's on me like white on rice. It doesn't bother me, but at times it can be overwhelming. Overwhelming when Im trying to make him lunch and he's grabbing my leg screaming for dear life all the while the fiancé says: "I tried but he doesn't want me he wants you" (great easy way out) *sigh*. I've tried ways to keep him entertained while I get things done but it doesn't seem to work. He wants to be right there with me. When I'm washing dishes he's propped up with a step stool and a spoon in one hand and is the happiest little boy ever.  Some might say he's spoiled but is wanting the reassurance and comfort from your mom considered "spoiled"? I know he won't be this way forever, and that one day I will truly miss his step stool days while I'm doing the dishes.

What are your thoughts do all children go through this phase?

Thoughts on having another child

I think wouldn't it be amazing to have another child so my son Frankie could have another sibling? To have someone that he will always be close with like me and my sister? To have a forever bond?

It seems great knowing that the second time around I'd be a pro. How I could pick out baby items with my eyes closed. What a breeze this second time would be. I wouldn't always second guess myself or listen to everyone's little silly pieces of advice I would simply/firmly say: "this is what works for me." I'd be confident the second time around. I wouldn't call the pediatrician a million times because I wasn't sure of something. The second time around I would just know.

Then I think about this wonderful routine we have now. Am I prepared to juggle two kids? Two of everything? Waking up every two-three hours ? As much as I would like another kid I've decided to wait. To enjoy my time with my son for the time being. Just the three of us. God willing in the future I'd love another child down the line, but right now I am content. I'm sure when that time comes it will be amazing,

Instagram overhaul

A Day In The Park.....

Today I dressed my son, packed his back pack, and headed out. We went to the park.  Now that he can walk its fun seeing how he acts at the park. Sometimes shy and sometimes overly excited.  Today he jumps out his stroller and takes off. Curious and excited.  He smiles at the other kids and tries to play with them. They ask "hey lady can he talk?" I say some words, but he's just learning. They smile at how eager he is and laugh with him. It melts my heart seeing how amazed he is by e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. He swings on the swing, we slide down the slide, and we play with his ball.  I chase him what feels like a kazillion times..."no no Frankie stay away from the puddles" , "Frankie that isn't our dog Simba come here", "Frankie we don't play with toys that aren't ours give that back." All in all we had a great day and I would love to have many more park days.

The Last....

The last ten pounds are the hardest to lose.  Its a fine line between almost there and giving up.  I've come a long way if I say so myself. But I find myself tired of all the dieting, tired of not being able to eat what I want, and feeling guilty whenever I cheat.  This is my honesty.  I no longer have the drive to want to lose the weight as I did when I first started. I wish I had that extra push just to get me past those last ten pounds. But then what? Maintaining...that seems like a drag.  Then I think why I started this whole journey. I was tired of looking in the mirror and tugging and pulling at the extra fat.  Figuring out ways to hide it. Tired of taking forever in a store to find something because nothing looked quite right....so here it is...my attempt to lose these last ten pounds and maintain it.